you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
