so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
