She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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