So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
