I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
