There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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