Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
