No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
