pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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