Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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