Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
