Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
