found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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