hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize