East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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