the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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