i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
