kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
