In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
