my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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