Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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