How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
