He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
