I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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