Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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