You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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