It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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