That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
