There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
