Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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