I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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