let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
