my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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