Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry about my life...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
