I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize