he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
