Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
