whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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