a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
my liver is dry heaving
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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