I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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