i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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