Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
