if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
