I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So much rum. So many feels.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
