i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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