I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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