we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
