I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
