what day is it and did you see me today?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
