dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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