Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
