I'm sorry my penis didn't work
17 year olds will be the death of me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My ass is underappreciated
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
