Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
