dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
