So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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