Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
