Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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