So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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