he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
